"For the Children"

There are certain words and phrases that automatically make me suspicious. One of them is "for the children". That is one of the most manipulative phrases in the English language. How do you reply? "Um, yeah, I hate kids"? It seems like rational debate and argument based on facts can be shut down with this phrase. It is often used in politics but is definitely not limited to just one party or side. Both abuse it or are themselves manipulated or held hostage by it. Public opinion does not bode well for anyone who is not "for" the children.

We have accepted many things as being good for kids that aren't necessarily. Sometimes it's because we ourselves have been manipulated. Other times we let our fears guide our reasoning and what we decide is immoral.

Here are some of my personal "pet peeves" where "for the children" has trumped logic:

* Speed Limits in school zones when school is in session.
Do we seriously need to go 15 mph in the middle of the school day when kids are safely tucked inside classrooms? I get having a lower speed around the beginning and the end of the school day. But I'd be more in favor of a slower speed limit in the middle of the day Saturday or Sunday when kids are actually out playing, often less supervised, and crossing in more unexpected places. I mean, if it's really FOR the CHILDREN... Are we sure leaving the signs up all day isn't really for the cities to get more money giving speeding tickets?

* Throwing money at schools.
More money for schools isn't always bad - or good. But it seems like anytime I've seen money for education "discussed" the so-called discussion is quickly shut down anytime anyone questions the need for the money or where it would be used by the "for the children" argument.  You really care about children? Then do research to find what actually has worked to improve education - not just what FEELS good and makes sense in your mind. Just saying it's for the children doesn't make it automatically a good idea.

*Laws against leaving kids alone - in parked cars or really anywhere for that matter.
Did you know a child is 8 times more likely to die walking in the parking lot than being left in the car while mom runs in the store? Or that the risk of a child getting kidnapped is 0.0002 percent (and that's not just from cars). I think logic should prevail here. There are times leaving children alone is dangerous. But let's not make laws - or judge others - based on fear "for the children". Stop and actually gather facts so we can allow each family to make use their best judgment. Fear does not equally morally superior. And we shouldn't give the government power over with fear-based laws.
(Check out freerangekids.com)

 If you want to do something for the children do some legit research not fear-based reactions.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Currently this Arizona desert girl is living in Billings, Montana. My husband is selling SmartHomes for Vivint and this is his "market" for the summer. It's been an adventure packing up 5 kids in the minivan and living with a lot less stuff for 5 months (we're 2 months in now).  Something crazy that has happened since we came here is that I've started to cook a lot more. Like I've only picked up Little Caesar's $5 pizzas once! I'm not someone who really enjoys cooking, but I really do enjoy eating. I find recipes and usually mess around with them to fit what ingredients I have on hand, how much work I am willing to do, and the time-frame until my hunger won't wait any longer and junk food will win. Sometimes I consider what's healthy. Other times I debate the definition of that word. And most the time I'm just proud of myself for feeding my family something other than cereal. (Which my children and husband still live on - a lot). So I'm sharing some of the things that have made cooking a bit easier and more fun for me this summer.

One of the secrets to success for me this summer has been finally learning the not-so-secret ways of my Instant Pot I bought a couple years ago. Frozen roast cooked and tender within 2 hours? Done. Chicken in 20? On it. Steel cut oatmeal (doesn't that sound healthy?). Just give me the time it takes my kids to drag themselves out of bed and get dressed. I'll try to post some of the modified recipes I've made to help others when I decide to find the time, but here's my top favorite recipe so far:

Mel's Kitchen Cafe Chile Lime Chicken Tacos
But of course I just buy mango salsa at Sam's Club instead of making hers. And I tried the avocado cream sauce but I prefer the copy cat El Pollo Loco Avocado Salsa. So basically I've been making the chicken - and it is delicious with or without the salsas.

A fun addition to our kitchen as been an air fryer! My mother-in-law came to visit, used my friend's air fryer, and generously decided I needed one too. It's close to having a deep fryer without the hot oil. It's touted as a healthier option but honestly I'm actually a fan of oil - but I'm happy to avoid the dangerous boiling hot lava state. And the air fryer is FAST! Every day I find myself looking for something to cook in it.

So far I've tried:

• chicken pineapple sausages
• hot dogs (both were like they'd been grilled)
• pot stickers (in the future I'll stick to the stove for these)
• reheating chicken wings from a restaurant
• frozen boneless buffalo wings
• frozen tater tots
• frozen french fries
• frozen chicken nuggets

The recipe book has all these great recipes for cutting up potatoes and breading your own chicken, so I wanted to be clear this also works for lazy cookers like me. But the taste is SO much better than from the oven. 

I know that I do not fully access all the power and beauty of my Blendtec Blender. But I use it enough that it was definitely packed for this trip even though I couldn't bring very much. We have enjoyed summer smoothies using the pre-proportioned packs (say that 5 times fast) of fruit from Sam's Club and whatever else we have on hand - we don't let anything like not having an actual smoothie recipe slow us down! The thing I make most often in this blender is salsa. As a southwestern girl, homemade salsa is considered a staple (I'll post my recipe - or list of ingredients I sometimes use - in a future post). It's also great for the milkshake or orange julius bribes I give my kids. I didn't bring a mixer with me and I've even used it for cookie dough (although that was kind of messy). Basically this blender is a staple for me. It was expensive but I got a deal on it at Costco several years ago. And when it broke all I had to do was take it in and they gave me a new one. Pretty sweet. I'm not getting into the which blender is better debate here - I honestly don't know. I just know that having a super strong extra special kind is handy. 

Also, Walmart has colored kitchen utensils (in buckets by all the other fancier ones) that I like to buy. They're not only inexpensive, but having colorful utensils just makes cooking more fun! 

BTW, I am on the search for low cost yet awesome knives if anyone has any suggestions for me. I think that is one of my hold ups on pursuing lots of recipes that look good to me. My knives are no good and it takes too long to cut stuff. I literally had chicken shooting off the cutting board and flying across the kitchen a few days ago. And that's just plain gross. 

I'm Back

It's been almost 4 years since I've last posted and a lot has happened in my life since then (including two more babies 15 months apart). I've formed many a post in my mind in those years - but somehow sitting at the computer to type has been too much for me - or at least not a priority. Lately I've been thinking I really need to get back to dumping my thoughts somewhere to help calm my mind - and even my anxiety as that is a struggle for me.
I like to think (the value of those thoughts is debatable), I've always enjoyed writing, and I like to share. So I'm using this as my outlet. You'll probably notice it's random - I might get political one post, share a recipe another, talk about my life as a mom in another. I realize this isn't probably great marketing. But I'm not marketing. I'm just doing this for me and if someone else enjoys any of my information, experiences or musings than I'm happy to share. If you don't than I'm fine with that too. I think as mothers we all need to find things that are therapeutic for us because we have demanding, around the clock jobs.

Value Life

This is a post that has been in my head for several months (a scary place to be)! It began as I was listening to a conservative radio show driving my son to school one morning. One of the hosts was claiming that gay marriage is a moral issue that conservatives need to back off of - but they shouldn't back off their stance on abortion. According to her, it didn't compare to abortion and shouldn't be in the same ballpark when discussing moral issues. 

She also explained her view that since in recent decades conservatives have backed candidates who are divorced or have premarital sex without making an issue of it and that gay marriage will be like mixed race marriages (what?!) in terms of coming to acceptance, we should just accept it. 

I disagree with her on both points. 

I think that the moral issues of gay marriage, abortion, pre-marital sex, and even in some ways divorce are related - and I had to examine why. As I pondered, it came to me: they all have to do with valuing LIFE. 

Respect for human LIFE and the power to create it are the foundation of a healthy and strong society. With this respect for life, and the moral imperatives it demands, we are giving ourselves and our children the best chance at success and happiness. Without respect for life we devalue each other's humanity and fail to fully love and serve one another. 

My anti-abortion stance is based on the value I place on human life. I believe that from the moment of conception it is just that: life. I would not purposefully destroy that life. Same as I would not destroy any human life at any stage. Many people have been led to believe that a fetus is not a human life - and that is sad. (I have an ultrasound of a baby at 7 weeks with a heartbeat). It is a self-deception that when integrated into the fibers of society leads us down a road that devalues life. 

Gay marriage disrespects the power to create life and nurture it. So do pre-martial sex and divorce. They all weaken the family unit (of which marriage is the foundation), which studies - although I could rely on common sense - show offers the best chance for a child to feel secure and become a productive member of society (Google it). 

The fact that society so readily accepts pre-marital sex and divorce as the norm can be seen in our media. What was once taboo has quickly become the norm. I think that the current degree of acceptance of gay marriage has come about because of television shows and movies: they have desensitized us to this life-style.

For the record, because I value life and believe in love for all our fellow beings, I do not hate or dislike any person who experiences same-gender attraction, has had pre-marital sex, is divorced, or even had an abortion. In fact some of my favorite people and dearest friends live different from my beliefs. But I still believe that accepting these things as the norm devalues life. I can love a person and not agree with their choices or views. 

Also, let me clarify that I know that in the case of divorce, many times one spouse's choices have left the other no choice but to escape a very unhealthy situation. Or one spouse chooses to leave despite the other's best efforts. I do not believe people hurt by these situations don't value life. In fact they are victims of other people devaluing life. On the other hand, I knew someone who when engaged expressed, "when we get divorced it will be because of his ex-wife". That's the norm I'm saddened by. 

If we better valued life's creation and valued the nurturing of life, our society would be stronger and free from many of the ills that plague it.

So I agree with that radio host on one point: we shouldn't be okay with divorce and pre-marital sex while at the same time not okay with gay marriage. But where she uses this a reason to embrace gay marriage, I say let's not seek for any of those things. Let's help families. Let's protect families. Let's protect LIFE. 

Disclaimer: Although you are free to disagree, if you get offended by any of my opinions that's your choice. No offense is intended. 

Busy Moms

So I know a lot of busy moms who are just plain not interested in politics. They get a sense there is something to worry about, but they don't know what to do about it - plus it's just not really their "thing" - so they keep out of it.

I think that mindset is dangerous.

Remember, moms rule the world.

So what can you do??

1. Be more aware of what is going on. Once a day, check in on the world.

2. Teach your children values such as integrity, work-ethic, and kindness. Also, teach them that they are not entitled to things from the government.

3. Vote. If you feel passionate about a candidate or an issue, get involved in spreading the word to your neighbors.

4. Don't be afraid to discuss politics. Even if those you talk with disagree, you can still have a civil and kind discussion where you learn from each other.

I know I'm guilty of being afraid to make a situation tense by discussing issues. But how will we ever come together with solutions to problems if we're not willing to discuss our views, learning from each other. This doesn't start at a government level. It starts with people like us.

The Trouble

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."

This is a quote that gets attributed to a guy in the 1700's but it's never been proven he wrote it. Either way, the logic of it rings true. We need to be careful about all the "gifts" - aka welfare, health insurance, etc. - we vote for ourselves. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY FOR IT! Our economic system is going to collapse if we keep on this road. Of course, I believe there are some in power who want us more dependent on government so they can have power to force us to do what they see as right - nevermind choosing for ourselves (we're not as smart as them, so just let them do what they know is best for us). That's a whole other rant so I'll get more into that another day...

SAHM

I just had a vent going on in my head and then I stopped and realized, "hey, I have a place for that now!"

Ann Romney posted the following on Facebook:

"I do recognize the most valuable work being done across the country is that work being done inside the four wall in our homes. And let us not forget how important the work of the mother and father are to raising responsible citizens."

I'm sure nobody would disagree with this statement.

Yet as I skimmed the replies to her post, I saw several comments branching off into how it must be nice to be rich and be able to be a stay at home mom.

This got brought up back when a guest on a news show claimed that Ann Romney had never worked a day in her life. In the backlash she received from that comment, this commentator - and others backing her - claimed she was really saying that stay-at-home moms have more money so they don't understand struggle.

Enter my vent.

I am a stay at home mom. We are NOT rolling in dough. We make SACRIFICES and we've had to learn the difference between a WANT and a NEED. I'm not complaining - we've been very blessed. But I do not like people insinuating that if you stay home with your kids you just don't know what it's like to struggle - financially or otherwise.

Staying home with my children wasn't the easy choice. We've had to give up a lot of things others consider necessities. I have a college degree. I could be working outside the home. But it's what we feel is best for our family. Being with my kids now - being "the hand that rules the world" - is the most important thing to me.

In my circle of friends, there are many stay-at-home-moms like me - people who sacrifice and work hard to make it financially feasible to be home with their children. Not many are well-to-do financially.

So, whether you like the politics of Ann Romney or not, please do not make the assumption that stay-at-home mom's are in a different socio-economic class than the "average" American. Yes, some mothers have no choice but to work outside the home - and I respect all the sacrifices they make too. But I believe many do have a choice - our society has just changed so as to make being a stay-at-home-mom a negative thing. Society convinces mothers that they don't have a choice because they "need" a lot of things that are actually "wants". Or that women are somehow lacking ambition if they stay home. These are false notions.

And even though the Romney's have had financial success, Ann obviously understands sacrifice and struggle - not only due to her fight with cancer and MS, but because as mother's we sacrifice more than just money to be home with our children. But we understand that our children are MORE than worth the struggle and sacrifice.